Leg 8: smell a bit of a Ratanakiri

Several minutes outside Stung Treng, all semblance of paved roads come to a halt. The remaining journey to Banlung consists of red dirt roads. One of the wonders of the world is how these buses travel at such speeds on bumpy roads without completely falling apart. The saving grace is that buses in these parts are not equipped with televisions, and a lack of a telly more than doubles the quality of the journey.

Leg 8: Stung Treng-Banlung (in red).

On arrival in Banlung we had our first meeting with the world's most persistent tour guides, who will henceforth be referred to as Dumb and Dumber. Our plans were fairly well-researched and we weren't interested in adding the 25 best waterfalls Ratanakiri had to offer to our itinerary. We managed to fob off Dumb and Dumber for at least a day and continued with our plans.

The highlight of Ratanakiri was Yeak Long (a crater lake). We hired pushbikes and EL spent six hours enjoying clean water of the lake. I spent six hours enjoying the view of the lake as I worked through a book.

Above: like me, the monk preferred the view of the water.

Returning to the hotel meant another encounter with Dumb and Dumber. We priced some travel agents around to discover, to our horror, that most of the tours were similarly priced with all the unnecessary trimmings. In the end, we negotiated some short trips with Dumb and Dumber inc.

The first expedition was to a village cemetery. As morbid as this appears, the cemetery was quite unique and very interesting. It was then that the troubles (not to be confused with The Troubles) started. Our Khmer language skills are basic at best, but the owner of the eating establishment didn't know that. Without details, we were to pay her double the true cost whether we ate one dish or two. It would have been easier if we couldn't understand her conversation with Dumb and Dumber, as we would have assumed there was a silly misunderstanding. However, this was not the case.

Every half-hour or so, Dumb and Dumber were continually urging us to add components to the trip. Perhaps they expected a tip? In any case, we had intentions of completing our itinerary as quickly as possible, and heading back to the hotel. Following lunch we visited a small village's school, where EL posed as a student in each of the three classrooms while I dreamed of glory at the school's rickety ping pong table.

Above: the greatest danger in the remote classroom is not the bully, but the stray cow pat.

Our final fling with Dumb and Dumber was to the gemstone mines. A BHP project this was not. The scene resembled a Bugs Bunny cartoon with the hundreds of vertcal holes, and the ropes used to manually haul the loot.

Above: The second-most dangerous type of mine in Cambodia. Note the DIY explosives.

On our return to Banlung, Dumb told Dumber in Khmer that "Barang Bei Neak Diet" (There are three more foreigners at the hotel). Again, Dumb and Dumber assumed that we had not understood this conversation. We asked if there would be any further offers to view an additional waterfall but, alas, they were only interested in returning to the hotel as quickly as possible. It was then that karma struck. My moto driver's back tyre sprung a leak, and the return home was delayed by half an hour. It seemed cruel, but it was impossible not to smile at the situation.

Next Stop: Kratie