And in conclusion...Cambodian moments to remember

Rather than write a summary of sentimental drivel, below is a list of the top 10 Cambodian memories from our time as "barangs in the 'bode".

Above: the journey of barangs in the 'bode.

10 Memories
1. "No Tiger". The funniest joke of a very strange day, when our driver, Poly, indicated (to our relief) that the jungle surrounding Pol Pot's house did not contain big cats.

2. "Fish can walk". Another three-syllabled sentence that yielded laughs galore. This time we were at the mangroves and our guide was commentating the movements of a salamander. Who said vocabulary was important?

3. "No landmine". Less than 30 seconds after being told that there were no landmines in the vicinity of Koh Ker, we spotted the skull and crossbones sign indicating a minefield. In case we'd forgotten, this was Cambodia. The well-worn path had never looked so good.

4. Cambodian karaoke videos. Much to my dismay, almost every bus journey had a Cambodian popsong soundtrack. However, the joke was on me, and I eventually succumbed. I am now the proud owner of a catchy Cambodian pop album. Don't laugh.

5. Crab at Kep. Out off the sea and into my belly within 15 minutes. Enough said.

6. The language. Sok sabai? Sai Sabok. Spoonerisms, wordplay, tongue-twisters and more - the Khmer language is good fun to speak and the Khmers have a great deal of fun manipulating it for pleasure.

7. Transport. Tuk tuks, buses, taxis, motodops, bicycles, boats, rafts, and even good old-fashioned walking. Getting around the bodge has certainly been interesting and varied.

8. Nothing is Ordinary. This is the slogan I suggested when the Ministry of Tourism opened a competition to coin the slogan for a forthcoming advertising campaign. Predictably, the winning entry was boring and will attract nobody to Cambodia (Kingdom of Wonder). That does not change that fact that nothing is ordinary in Cambodia. It has been an assault on the senses, and it has been extraordinary.

9. People of Cambodia. The people and their humour will be what I miss most.

10. Hun Sen. A man who provided the material for so many of my conversations in Cambodia. Goodbye to Hun Sen and the members of the Cambodian People's Party!

Above: Goodbye to a man who has inspired so much in Cambodia.

Leg 17: hardly Siamese twins

We drove from Battambang to the Thai border at Poipet with slightly heavy hearts. Leaving Cambodia is sad, and who knows what it will resemble next time we are here; it is a country that is changing quickly.

The taxi driver ensured that the journey was suitably hair-raising by minimising the amount of time required to complete the job. On arrival at the border, EL handed over her Cambodian SIM card to the taxi driver (he was then to pass it onto a tuk tuk driver in Battambang) and we meandered to the checkpoint.

Leg 17: Battambang-Poipet (in green).

And then it was sawasdee kap Thailand. The difference between Cambodia and Thailand was immediately apparent and it was quite a shock after 18 months in Cambodia.

Getting acclimatised to a new language, a new currency, a new way of thinking, and the new quirks of life is going to take some time but, as always, will be a spectacularly fun process. Goodbye Cambodia, hello Thailand.

Next stop: Phuket and onwards

Leg 16: cirque du Battambang

After 18 months of living in the capital, it was sad to see the end of Phnom Penh. We had already said goodbyes to friends for the last time several times, but today really was the end of our Phnom Penh days.

Leg 16: Phnom Penh-Battambang (in purple).

After considering all border crossings other than Preah Vihear, EL and I elected to cross the border at Poipet, simply for the fact that it would allow us an opportunity to see Phare Ponleu Selpak, a circus based in Battambang.

The circus was nothing short of sensational; brilliant feats with the body combined with a wicked sense of humour, which was a fitting Cambodian finale. With so many pointless moneypits in Cambodia, it was satisfying that one of the better NGOs should have the last word.

Above: a truly Cambodian performance, juggling humour with mind-bending physical feats.

Next Stop: Poipet border crossing (Thailand)

Leg 15: I should be so lucky

With plans fallen through in Kampot, it was back on the bus and back to Phnom Penh. The south of Cambodia is easy on the eye, and I focused on looking out the window in order to take my attention away from the music videos playing at the front of the bus (which are not so easy on the ear).

Leg 15: Kampot-Phnom Penh (in blue).

This was our last stint in Phnom Penh, our home for the past 18 months. Important 11th-hour jobs included sampling Lucky Burger and purchasing a CD by Kemara Srey Mon, the sole Khmer artist of note I have taken a fancy to. However, I wasn't sure of the name of the CD or artist. I therefore needed to sing this tune to a shopkeeper in the hope that she could identify the CD I sought after. Thankfully, the song was recognised after my first rendition. The shopkeeper knew exactly which song I was referring to, and she confided to me that she too loved the song. To enjoy it, you can listen to the song here.

I was secretly hoping that Lucky Burger would be unbelievably good or unbelievably bad in order to generate an excellent blog tale. That was not the case and this tale is not even close to excellent. However, I can report that Lucky Burger was simply a cheap copy of McDonald's, with some additional cardboard properties mixed into the hamburger. It was my first and last Lucky Burger visit.

Above: Lucky Burger. You are lucky to leave without dysentery (with thanks to Tom).

Next stop: Battambang

Leg 14: not part of the bribal party

My sore bottom ensured that the idea of riding the 25 kilometres back to Kampot was less than thrilling. However, a bribe needed to be finalised in Kampot and so we pushed on, albeit at a slower pace than the previous day.

Leg 14: Kep-Kampot (in purple).

We crawled into Kampot after a much slower ride than the initial journey. I took more care to admire the scenery and, as I was previously informed, it was indeed lovely. I am, however, unsure as to whether the scenery from a bus window would have been any different from a bike seat.

Arrival in Kampot came with some bad news - our Bokor Hill Station trip had fallen through. This was our first and last bribe in Cambodia, and it had failed to deliver results. Aside from never seeing Bokor Hill Station, we will now never know the pleasures of greasing the wheels of corruption. In hindsight, perhaps the lost bribe was a good outcome after all.

Next Stop: Phnom Penh

Leg 13: chasing the green jersey

Sick of buses and sick of taxis, it was with enthusiasm that we made our way to Kep by way of bicycle. It was hardly a sprint, but by the time we had puffed our way through the 25 kilometres we were wary of the fact that our bikes were not going to make the return journey to Kampot on their own. I would be lying if I said that the thought of abandoning the bikes (and the bicycle owner) didn't cross my mind.

Leg 13: Kampot-Kep (in green).

Apparently the scenery was lovely as we rode past farms and small villages. At the time, I was busy ensuring that my lungs continued to function and I seem to have missed the view.

Kep turned out to be somewhere between heaven, paradise, and nirvana. However, I may have been so happy to dismount my bicycle that I exaggerated Kep's beauty in my mind. In any case, Kep was a lovely town to relax in.

Dinner in Kep consisted of a plate of the sea's greatest gift: crab. Without question, a saddlesore bum was a small price to pay for such a spectacular dinner.

Above: While it is impossible to imagine watching your steak being slaughtered prior to a meal, seeing your crab being caught is an entirely delightful experience.

Next stop: Kampot

Leg 12: pepperland without the blue meanies

An early bus out of Koh Kong, and onto Sihanoukville – or “Snooky” - for lunch. Snooky is perhaps the worst place in Cambodia, and it was with extreme disappointment that EL and I were caught there for a meal before moving on.

Leg 12: Koh Kong-Kampot (in purple).

In order to escape the wrath of the Snooky, we decided upon travel by taxi. Following the ritual negotiating with drivers, we were delivered in Kampot in time for afternoon tea. On arrival, a bribe was handed to a tour operator in order to facilitate a future trip to Bokor Hill Station. But more on that later...

Kampot turned out to be a lovely town set on a river. So lovely in fact that we decided to spend the remainder of the day with alcoholic beverages in hand whilst overlooking said river.

Next stop: Kep