Leg 1: 'bang and blame

Leg 1 commenced with the legendary Phnom Penh-Battambang bus journey. Happily, a DVD of all 58 Khmer versions of Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls was played for the duration. Forget prohok, I feel that I have now discovered the true soul of Cambodia.

Leg 1: Phnom Penh-Battambang.

Battambang has been an adventure. Hiring Honda Dreams re-sparked my passion for the freedom of the road. This passion was tempered within a few hours after I unwittingly caused a tractor accident. We didn't get the opportunity to swap insurance details, but I was certainly to blame.

Highlights of the Battambang motorcycle tour included Ek Phnom (11th Century), watching villagers make rice paper, and waving at an endless stream of children screaming "hello!". However, the highest of highlights was undoubtedly the policeman who invited EL and I to drink beers with him. While Friday afternoon usually smells like beer O'Clock to me, we had to turn down the generous offer. As motorcycle novices, a can of ABC was unlikely to enhance our driving skills.

A trip to the 'bang doesn't even count unless it includes a ride on the Bamboo Train.

Above: Our Bamboo Train driver will be of legal drinking age in 2019.

As a self-confessed train enthusiast, this was a must for me. The Bamboo Train did not disappoint, and proved to be one of the ultimate rail experiences in the world. Move over Trans-Siberian, the Battambang Express is the new travel chic: wind in the hair, genuine 1940s tracks, and a driver almost old enough to go to high school. Overall, a wonderful journey to a far-flung coke vendor (and back). Highly recommended.

Next stop: Siem Reap